Obituaries are commonplace; they have been published in our newspapers since newspapers began. However, newspapers are becoming scarcer, and scammers using personal information are on the rise. Creating an obituary involves both an assessment of a person’s life and the potential utility of that assessment for nefarious purposes.
First – realize the scams, how obituary information can be abused.
Identity theft is a problem for the dead, as well as the living. Therefore, don’t include in the obituary the date of birth or some of the personal information often requested to verify an identity. This is the number one issue talked about in this article from the AARP on obituary scams. The article suggests first steps when someone passes away is to contact the Social Security Administration and the major credit agencies immediately.
When it comes to publishing the death notices, one needs to be wary of including precise information. For example, instead of a birthday, one might just include the year of birth. Instead of a street address, perhaps including just the town name.
In addition to identity theft, scammers might call the survivors listed in an obituary, pretending to be debt collectors or government officials. They use the real information about the death from the obituary in their demand for payment. Like many scams, they may request gift cards to make the problem go away, this is a sure sign of a scam.
Scams using real obituaries are not the only thing to be concerned with either. Scammers now create “hoax” or fake obituaries, sometimes involving real deaths and information from obituaries, and sometimes when a person hasn’t even died. They might create a fake obituary on Facebook or other social media platform requesting donations for the family to send flowers that links to a payment portal. Not only do they steal the donations, but they may use that payment portal to steal the payment information to steal even more or sell it to another scammer. It’s always good practice to ensure you are going directly to the funeral home website or verified local news outlet rather than clicking a link in social media or email. If you do notice a fake – make sure to report it to the platform to stop others from being scammed.
Second – Consider where it will be published
With more local newspapers disappearing, some people are now only publishing the death notice on social media platforms or through the website of the funeral home. Some are sharing it on a website like Legacy.com, which can publish on their own or in coordination with local newspapers. Their partnerships with funeral homes help minimize the hoaxes as well. Prices may be affected by word count and photos and how many local publications are considered.
Many of us have been through the experience of finding out someone passed away long after the fact. With so much digital communication, it’s often assumed that notices on social media will reach everyone, but they often do not. Unlike Carl Reiner in his recent amusing documentary, “Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast,” not everyone checks out the obituaries every morning to see if they are in them. An estate plan should include a list of people to be notified to help those that remain get the word out, and help people not feel left out from being able to grieve together. Many funeral homes have ways to have a digital memorial service as well for those that are far away geographically but still want to participate.
Third – Consider the type of obituary and writing your own
Funeral homes can provide a checklist of things that are generally included in an obituary, such as: age, education, vocation, military affiliations, volunteer affiliations, survivors, date, time and location of the funeral.
Consider a different type of obituary, the celebration of life, adjusting the vibe, mixing in celebratory with somber. A recent New York Times article interviewed people who wrote obituaries one might consider almost a roast, with a bit more honesty that people who truly knew the person would understand. We’ve also seen celebrities like Merv Griffin lighten the mood who famously said to put on his gravestone – “I will not be right back after these messages.” Although Penn and Teller don’t have a gravestone yet, they have a cenotaph (empty memorial marker) that features the three of clubs. Mel Blanc, the voice of Porky Pig, has “That’s all Folks” on his gravestone.
Consider creating the homage yourself. That gives you time to reflect, and perhaps to share a story or passion instead of the traditional affiliations. It’s becoming less unusual to write your own obituary, and gives the people left behind more time to focus on their grief and the other arrangements.
Fourth – As long as you are funeral planning, consider the rest of your estate plan
An obituary is one small part of the estate plan, but it’s an important one. The funeral itself is only one small part of the estate plan, too. When it comes to the actual estate, knowing where all the accounts are, ensuring a smooth transition of wealth, and that the beneficiaries and philanthropic goals are taken care of should be considered. It should also be reviewed from time to time for accuracy and to make sure everything still matches up every year. Those that have substantial wealth likely should consider trust services to handle the wealth transition, which is where Garden State Trust Company would come in. Let us know if you’d like a consultation.
This content has been prepared by The Merrill Anderson Company and is intended as a general guideline.
© 2026 M.A. Co. All rights reserved.
Arvest and its associates do not provide tax or legal advice. The information presented here is not intended as, and should not be considered, tax or legal advice. Consult your tax and legal advisors accordingly.
